I just wiped the last of those green avocados off of my baby’s face, and I have only a few moments to reflect on what this day means…You’d never guess that it’s such an important holiday for us.
It’s been five years since I stood at the back of that church house with butterflies in my stomach, looking at the man who had so handsomely, yet ever-so subtly waltzed into my heart. I felt like I was walking on clouds that day as I stepped toward him with my proud papa on my arm. Then I saw a tear trickle down his cheek…and I knew that I was the most prized beauty in my lover’s eyes. I knew in that moment that I had come home. And I knew that no matter what we’d face, we would do it together.
Now, here we are, five years later. It’s the tenth of June and we have alot of reason to celebrate. This day marks the end of five beautiful years, and hopefully the beginning of five more. No small reason to celebrate, right? And yet,to the casual observer, this might seem like just another ordinary day in the middle of the week. There are no flowers (so far), no surprise day at the spa, not even a card. At one time I would have been disappointed in the lack of glamour on such a special occasion. I would have looked for the flowers and been disappointed when they didn’t show up. I would have longed for the fairy tale “hoolah” of candlelight and roses, to mark such a milestone in this, our journey of romance.
Today, however, I seem oddly content with the ordinary. Maybe it’s that I know we don’t have a dime to spare on the frivolous luxuries of the past. Or that I’ve just become accustomed to how these sort of holidays tend to go and so I’ve lowered my expectations. Or maybe, I’ve actually grown up a little (there’s a thought!) and begun to realize that beauty really is in the small stuff. That being in this moment with the two people I adore most, is, in itself, the biggest gift I’ve been given. Maybe it’s that I’ve stopped long enough to soak in all the pleasures of what has made the twenty four hours of every day, seven days of every week, four weeks of every month, for the past five years, so beautiful.
Today seems no different than any other. I’ve already washed a load of laundry, fed my little doll face, juggled errands, snagged a deal on an air mattress at Walmart, browsed the international market, and rushed home to feed my little doll face, again. Then I attempted to have a meaningful conversation with John about some misunderstanding we had last night. That went the same way it has for the last five years. More misunderstanding. More yelling our points across. And eventually calming or breaking! down, enough to find the real issue and then talking and (me!) crying it all out. Finally in the end, we understand the silly reasons we had the argument in the first place. And then we laugh.
That’s how it goes. And that is what it’s been.
Five Beautiful Years.
Colorful? Yes. Easy? No. It’s been hard. In fact, it’s been excruciating, at times. But I’ve gotten to know and to be known in the most intimate way. I’ve had the priviledge to share the world with my best friend. I’ve been blessed to experience every detail with someone who loves me just the way I am. And that is everything I could’ve ever wanted or dreamed of.
It’s a pleasantly sunny day in June, much like the one five years ago, just a little more peaceful and a lot less sticky.
And I’m still just as happy to see his face, as I was then.