On Saving the World and Letting Yourself Go (Hungry}.

I’ve been feelin the funk lately.

You know. that “drowning in your own head and your own sea of unworthiness” kind of feeling?

Afraid of the world and the change of seasons, and feeling like perhaps you don’t matter and that at the end, nobody will have heard or seen you anyway and that you will vanquish into the abyss of nothingness where you came from, that your life and your work will all be in vain and you’ll spend the next eternity sweeping floors and wiping snotty noses for some hideous emperor of a manged cat society???

Today I was tired for the 53rd day in a row and I finally remembered what to do, so I sat down and ate a good breakfast. I remembered that it is the simple things that always get me through these times. It is not usually, at least for me, being prayed for and affirmed and prophesied over. It is simply putting something nutritious in my body and moving IT, that saves me, every time.

So today, I’m getting out of the house with the TWO kids (one is home from school) and helping my husband set gates in the fresh damp air, and I’m eating this.

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Pumpkin oats with toasted coconut and maple syrup and blueberries.

Because I can. Because it’s important. And today, I’m acting my way into a feeling and treating myself like I matter.

I’m waking up to the fact that more than the counseling and the therapy and the phone calls to a friend, sometimes I just need to do the next good thing in front of me. And, this.

To stop procrastinating and acting like other people matter more than I do and depriving my own body for the sake of caring for someone else’s.

And, to EAT.

It sounds so simple but let me tell ya, 9 times out of 10, it gets me out of the funk.

Contrary to popular belief, it’s really not that noble to go for days, living on leftover coffee and corn chip crumbs and puffs of fake cheese. It’s so much better to stop and feed myself, truly feed MYSELF, before I rush on and try to conquer the day like a starved desert animal looking for its next meal and ‘fix’ from reality, and then getting to the end of the day and realizing I’m still hungry.

It’s so much better to stop right now and eat and take care of me.

So here I am with my luscious bowl of oatmeal and all the nuts and nutrients and yummy stuff that I need.

Because I matter. And nobody matters more than me.

 

Do you ever feel the need to return to the basics and do something simple for YOURSELF? What do you do when you’re feeling the funk? Please share your tips and stories below.

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