No one ever told me how absolutely heartbreaking motherhood would be. No one ever told me how scary or challenging or exhausting or hard this path is.
I didn’t know how much my body would ache or how many meals I would skip or how many nights I would go without sleep.
There have been times in this journey, when I wondered if I would ever take a shower in peace or drink my coffee hot again. Or if I would EVER be appreciated for the endless mountains of laundry I’ve folded???
There have been nights when my mind and body have been pushed beyond the breaking point.
I have had searing pain while carrying my babies and kissing their “owies” and no one ever told me.
No one ever told me it would be this hard.
No one ever said how much it would RIP my heart out when my babies got sick, or had a fever or busted a knee cap. No one told me how my heart would leap out of my chest when one of my kids reached a milestone or how it would momentarily stop beating when one of them got lost in the grocery store. I remember holding my first tiny newborn as she cried inconsolably for what seemed like DAYS and feeling so helpless and exhausted, I eventually collapsed in a heap beside her, and watched as the evidence of our distress made little puddles on the sheets, and I cried the hottest tears I had ever cried in my life that day.
“God, I cant do this!” I remember saying.
And then I did it. Again and again. And, again.
When I first started out, I had NO IDEA how hard this motherhood thing would be No one ever told me.
But then, no one also ever told me how beautiful and breathtaking it would be. No one ever told me, no one COULD HAVE told me how ridiculously thrilling it would be to watch my son take off on his bike (without wheels!!) or how amazing it would be when my baby looked up and smiled at me for the first time.
I had no idea how deeply gratifying or fulfilling these moments would be. I had no idea how sweet and awesome and hard and beautiful it would be to raise these precious souls that God has entrusted to me.
No one ever told me. And even if they did, I would STILL have done it and I would do it a million times over, because being a Mama to these little ones is one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever been given.
Wherever you are in your Motherhood journey, I hope that today you KNOW how incredibly blessed you are, and how special your calling really is. I hope that no matter how tired or lonely or exhausted you are, you know how deeply valued and important you are.
I hope for all of you current and waiting and not-yet Mothers, that wherever you are and whatever you are grieving or celebrating today, you get what your heart desires and you find a little more strength and beauty in your journey. I pray that above all, you feel seen and honored for what you do, today.
Because no matter what anyone has told you, this journey is the most beautiful thing you will ever say ‘yes’ to and nothing, no unforeseen challenge or frustration or amount of unprepared-ness will ever change that. Nothing will ever come close to this life work, the work of nurturing and growing human souls.
No matter what anyone has ever told us or not told us, our work is important. Our efforts matter. Our love is life changing.
Happy Mother’s Day to all you beautiful mamas!
(Now, go can we all go take a collective nap together???!)