I wasn’t going to post these pictures.
Truth is, I was going to post a more “perfect” one to show my recent weight loss, but hey #progressnotperfection,
Amiriiiight???

So I’m posting these because the truth is, the teething baby needed to be held and this is the most he had smiled all morning and THIS IS MY LIFE. And even though it is far, far from perfect, this is my one precious life I get to live and so here I am with ALL of my hips and my snotty nosed kid that wears my underwear on his head while I’m folding laundry and begs to be held at THE MOST inconvenient times.

Here we are with our happy, cranky selves and I get to put my arms around this little ball of sunshine and feel the purest pride and highest pleasure that is unconditional love on a daily basis because of him. And so this is my “after” pic today.

Yes I look pregnant in these pictures. And yes my hips look ginormous and yes I am standing at all the wrong angles. I am fully aware of this.

But I am ok with that. I know that the real progress cannot be measured in a picture anyway and a year ago I could not have said that. Two years ago I would not have had the strength to get out of bed, much less TAKE THE PICTURE. Today, I’m taking it and I’m posting it for the world to see!

Because more than the weight loss and the lesser circumference around my thighs, I’m proud of the work, the deep internal work I’ve done to get here.

And isn’t that what true progress is anyway?? The deep. The internal. The unseen progress that no one but ourselves, can really know?? And that is where the REAL work lies. I don’t know about you, but getting to a better place mentally and coming back from the brink of suicide is by far the hardest work I’ve ever done.

I am here. I am alive. I love these thighs and these smiles, because they remind me of how far I’ve come.

And for that, I am proud to share this “after” picture with you today.

#progress